My Aunt Ursula

If you’re really lucky in life, a special person enters, a kindred spirit of sorts, who figures prominently in all that becomes your life.  I am a very lucky person!  I am here today to introduce you to, and to celebrate the life of, my beloved aunt Dr. Ursula Henderson, who lived an exceptional life in service to others, who ascended to the heavens this past week, at 95 years of age.

Ursula Henderson was born in 1927 in London, England.  Her keen intellect and compassion for people led to her graduation and the degree of Medical Doctor from the London School of Medicine for Women.  An institution formed in 1874 by an association of pioneering women physicians, it was the first medical school in Britain to train women as doctors.

Dr. Ursula Henderson would then traverse the Atlantic Ocean to perform her medical residency at hospitals in Manhattan and Princeton, New Jersey, becoming board certified in Neurology and Psychiatry.  It was on that ocean liner journey to America where she met the man she would later marry, British born Robert Stevenson, the Oscar nominated Film Director of “Mary Poppins.”  They later settled in the Los Angeles area where my aunt built a private practice in Psychiatry and treated America’s veterans at the VA Medical Center, while Bob directed films for Disney.

In the late 1970s, they moved to the lovely Santa Barbara enclave of Montecito after Bob had a stroke.  Ursula drove up one weekend, met with a real estate broker, and found a lovely ranch home that she could easily make wheelchair accessible and set up for home care.  It was a magical place nestled within bustling hedges just off San Ysidro Road, with gardens and fish ponds and bird baths.  Ursula went on to Chair the Department of Psychiatry at the women led and founded Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara, and continued a life of travel and active civic engagement.  A staunch lifelong Democrat, she was a fierce advocate for those less fortunate, leading the charge on an innovative program to support the homeless in Santa Barbara.  She would lose her dearly beloved Bob in 1986.

Ursula met my Uncle Wally in the early 1990s, while serving on the Board of the City College.  Uncle Wally was my “second dad”, having lost my father in 1982.  They were both widows who met later in life, instantly hitting it off, who enjoyed a wonderful eleven years together before my uncle passed, also from a stroke, in 2003.  They were very social, fully engaged in civic and philanthropic duties, and loved to travel!  Although my uncle was an American citizen, he did actually live in London for a period of time in the 1970s as the Head of European Sales for Revlon.  It was a great pairing of a couple with a tremendous zest for life!

I first met Aunt Ursula when she and Uncle Wally visited Manhattan in October 1992.  My brother and I met them for a lovely breakfast brunch at their hotel, and I met them for dinner in the Oak Room.  I was instantly fascinated!  My aunt is the kindest, loveliest person you will ever meet, with extraordinary intellect, and of course great stories to share!

I first visited their home in Montecito in March 1996, and Ursula and I have been bound at the hip since.  She is actually one of the reasons I moved to L.A. in 2017.  I knew then she was not going to be around that much longer, and I guess I just wanted to be closer.

She had already sold her treasured home in Montecito, and had moved into a lovely retirement community on the northern end of Santa Barbara.  It was a difficult transition  for her, as she loved that home so much, and had put so much energy and imagination into it over the years.  But she was an amazing woman who made the move work well, in her final years.

It was great living in Studio City and driving up the 101 for Saturday visits.  The coastline is just breathtaking, nestled up against the mountains.  My aunt and I are two kindred spirits, fiercely independent and determined professional women, who believe in the greater good, and in our ability to shape it.  

So many great memories to share! Aunt Ursula was an avid reader, her home filled to the brim with books, and multiple newspaper and magazine subscriptions from both sides of the Atlantic. She was a pet lover with multiple kitty and doggie boos!  In the morning, we would eat in the little breakfast nook in the kitchen, with all her lovely furry creatures lined up for their bowls.

We often went out to lunch and dinner, shows, and many movies.  I remember one in particular, ‘March Of The Penguins’, such a wonderful film!  She encouraged me to walk down to the ocean.  There was this hidden trail that only the locals knew about.  I was an adult, but it was like I was a little girl who had found the secret garden.  Some days I would stroll the shoreline all the way to Stearns Wharf.  I felt like I was in heaven on earth.

We talked a lot about all the complexities and challenges in our world.  During one of my many treasured visits, we got up at two in the morning to watch the funeral coverage of Nelson Mandela on CNN.  That’s how we rolled!  A few years later when I had the trip of a lifetime and visited Mandela’s home on Orlando West Street in Soweto, South Africa, we talked a lot about the enduring legacy of such a great man, and what visionary leadership embodies.  Aunt Ursula is such a class act, a very special person I am going to miss greatly!

She was a great source of information and support for my brother. It warms my heart knowing that she was so happy to learn of Geoffrey’s recent medical breakthroughs.  She delighted in hearing about his girlfriend Jasmine and the abundance he has created for himself in his life.

As for me, she frequently asked about Guns N’ Roses, and in particular about lead guitarist Slash, as she knows he’s my favorite. She loved to hear about all my music advocacy efforts, capital markets technology work, political activities, gymnastics, and of course most recently about my screenplay.  She frequently commented how I lived a fascinating life, and that she was so proud and happy for me.  Oh my goodness, right back at ya Aunt Ursula!

This is where it’s going to get really hard.  As some of you may know, I just finished a strong working draft of my feature film screenplay “The Deal Closer”, which I submitted to the Writers Guild of America in February 2022.  You never quite know when the creative energy will flow and the story will come tumbling out of you and solidify.  In my case, this transpired over the past year, following a completed first draft in the fall of 2019.

And now at 95 years of age, living in the highly supervised Quail Lodge at the Valle Verde Retirement Community, but still with tremendous mind and brain capacity, Aunt Ursula was very interested in reading my screenplay.  She knew the story premise and was urging me to share it with people who could help get it made.  I produced a professionally printed 102 page color copy and sent it to her priority mail.  Two weeks ago she left me a lovely voicemail, with joy in her very eloquent British voice, that she had read my “very interesting” story, and wanted to talk some more.  We did speak briefly a few days later, but planned to continue the conversation.  That conversation would never happen.  She was ready to go, and the angels in heaven called her to join them.  While I was completely unprepared for that, it so warms my heart that one of her final moments was reading my story, and that it brought her such joy.

When I do finally bring “The Deal Closer” to the big screen, as the Producer with final cut decision making authority, you can count on a brief tribute section to Aunt Ursula!

Thank you for listening and letting me share my heartfelt and emotional memories.